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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter

It is a beautiful day.  This is the first holiday since Jonas died that I didn't wake up sad.  I think it has a lot to do with how much I was uplifted during general conference last week and most importantly it has everything to do with the Atonement.  I know most people when they think of the Atonement, they think of how Jesus Christ suffered on the cross.  We often think of how he suffered for all our sins.  He also suffered all of our heart aches.  He understands how we feel in all situations.  He understands how my heart has broken and I long for my little Jonas to be here.  The Atonement is such an amazing and beautiful gift.  My heart hurts so bad, but at the same time I feel so much peace and comfort.  I know that is only possible because of the Atonement.  I KNOW I will see Jonas again and that was made possible because of our Savior.  If I can keep one foot in heaven and one foot here on earth, I am not so sad because I remember that Jonas is not gone, he is close by and part of our family forever.  I wish it wasn't so hard to be here without him, but he has taught me and the rest of our family so much.  

I love all my boys.  It is so sweet to see Joe and Jack play together.  Jackson tells me all the time that Jonas is there too playing with them.  It makes me so happy that Jack thinks of Jonas just as much as I do. He brings him up almost everyday.  I know a lot of people probably are worried to talk about Jonas with me, but please never fear that, I always love talking about him and there is not a day that goes by that he is not on my mind. 

Joe is almost 11 months old!!!  I cannot believe how fast time has gone by.  He says dog,  Dada,  Momma and waves hi.  He is starting to crawl.  I am sure he would be walking by now if I was not cuddling him constantly.  I love this little guy.  He is so sweet and happy.  He LOVES eating butternut squash and potatoes and chicken from our Yellow Thai Curry!  He also loves sweet peas!  He loves blowing raspberries and will laugh hysterically when you play peek-a-boo.
Jack is awesome!  He is such a great big brother.  He watches out for Joe constantly.  It is the sweetest thing to witness.   Joe's face lights up every time Jack is in the room.  Jack and I have been playing the old school Mario Brothers Game on Friday night game nights.  Josh is always working on the weekends and it use to bum me out that I didn't really have the opportunity to "go out" on a Friday night, but it doesn't bug me anymore because Jack is so fun to hang out with.  I can talk to him about anything and we have a blast throwing a ball around, playing board games, watching a silly movie, exercising with Jillian Michaels :), making treats (of course after we exercise :), going for walks with Copper, etc.  Jack had his kindergarten orientation a few days ago.  I started to cry when we walked over to the school.  Josh said, "Jen it's only the orientation."  Oh gees I can only imagine how it will be on the first day of school!  Thank heavens it is only half day kindergarten.  I cherish every moment I have with these little guys, it goes by SO fast! 
Cute little chunky monkey!  You would never guess this little guy was a premie!
Joe looks a lot like Josh in this picture.
He's my snuggle bug!
Ahhh look at all those rolls!  Love it!!


Kim said...

Such a sweet post. I always love your honesty. I love that Jackson talks about Jonas daily, Brennan does too! Your boys are so sweet and you are such a good momma.

Lucy Ravitch said...

A sweet post. : ) It is great that your boys are doing so well and that they love and cherish each other so much and you are enjoying mothering. With my kids getting older, I feel it gets tougher but it is still worth it. Take care!