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Thursday, April 26, 2012

On The Right Path

I just had to write about a neat experience today.  Jackson scored a goal at his soccer game so I told him I would take him to get a treat after the game.  He wanted frozen yogurt and there is literally a Menchies about 500ft from where his game was.  But I felt like I should take him to a family owned place called Chillz that I have never been to, that was several miles away and out of the way... It was odd, but the feeling was so strong to go so I did...

We were in there for about 25 minutes and there was no one else in there.  It's a nice place, they had thin mint yogurt that was delicious.  I thought is this why I was suppose to come in here, for the girl scout cookie flavored yogurt?  It is my favorite, but I still felt like I was missing the reason I was there.  We were almost done and then I saw this cute mom walk in with 2 boys.

I smiled and watched them pick out all their favorite toppings.  They sat down behind us.  Joe and I sat there while Jack finished up his yogurt and this sweet woman asked how old Joe is and I told her he will be 1 next month.  She asked what day and said that her boy was born in May as well.  I thought that was neat and asked which boy of hers was born in May.   She said, "He is not here."  I  looked at her a little funny and thought she said that kinda like I do when I bring up Jonas :)   She asked how many kids I have and I said 3 boys too.  She said, "Well where is your 3rd boy?"   I told her he is in heaven and she told me that is where her other son is too!  We were both kind of surprised.  I knew in that instant that was why I was suppose to go to Chillz.  It made my whole week meeting her and her cute boys.  We talked for awhile and it was so comforting to meet another mom that understands the pain of trying to live life with a son in heaven.  Jackson talked about her cute boys all the way home.  Jack said, "It was so cool I got to play with them while Jonas gets to play with their brother in heaven."  And of course that caused tears to stream down my face, but it brings comfort at the same time that he is starting to realize he is not the only one with a sibling in heaven.

It's been a hard week.  My neighbor's 1 year old dog that we all love was hit and killed instantly.  I know he is not a human, but it's another young life that was cut short :(  My dear sister Liz has been trying so hard to adopt a child and she was so close to getting twin girls, but it did not work out.  My heart is aching for her and I hope and pray soon that some more little ones can join their family.  It is also the 2 year anniversary of one my BLMs Annette who lost her little girl Valentina.  They have been on my mind all week and honestly it is showing me that the heartache of loosing a child does not lessen one bit no matter how much time passes.

I am so thankful to meet Alesha today.  It was yet another sign that Heavenly Father and our Savior are real and they put certain people in our path to show how much they love us.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter

It is a beautiful day.  This is the first holiday since Jonas died that I didn't wake up sad.  I think it has a lot to do with how much I was uplifted during general conference last week and most importantly it has everything to do with the Atonement.  I know most people when they think of the Atonement, they think of how Jesus Christ suffered on the cross.  We often think of how he suffered for all our sins.  He also suffered all of our heart aches.  He understands how we feel in all situations.  He understands how my heart has broken and I long for my little Jonas to be here.  The Atonement is such an amazing and beautiful gift.  My heart hurts so bad, but at the same time I feel so much peace and comfort.  I know that is only possible because of the Atonement.  I KNOW I will see Jonas again and that was made possible because of our Savior.  If I can keep one foot in heaven and one foot here on earth, I am not so sad because I remember that Jonas is not gone, he is close by and part of our family forever.  I wish it wasn't so hard to be here without him, but he has taught me and the rest of our family so much.  

I love all my boys.  It is so sweet to see Joe and Jack play together.  Jackson tells me all the time that Jonas is there too playing with them.  It makes me so happy that Jack thinks of Jonas just as much as I do. He brings him up almost everyday.  I know a lot of people probably are worried to talk about Jonas with me, but please never fear that, I always love talking about him and there is not a day that goes by that he is not on my mind. 

Joe is almost 11 months old!!!  I cannot believe how fast time has gone by.  He says dog,  Dada,  Momma and waves hi.  He is starting to crawl.  I am sure he would be walking by now if I was not cuddling him constantly.  I love this little guy.  He is so sweet and happy.  He LOVES eating butternut squash and potatoes and chicken from our Yellow Thai Curry!  He also loves sweet peas!  He loves blowing raspberries and will laugh hysterically when you play peek-a-boo.
Jack is awesome!  He is such a great big brother.  He watches out for Joe constantly.  It is the sweetest thing to witness.   Joe's face lights up every time Jack is in the room.  Jack and I have been playing the old school Mario Brothers Game on Friday night game nights.  Josh is always working on the weekends and it use to bum me out that I didn't really have the opportunity to "go out" on a Friday night, but it doesn't bug me anymore because Jack is so fun to hang out with.  I can talk to him about anything and we have a blast throwing a ball around, playing board games, watching a silly movie, exercising with Jillian Michaels :), making treats (of course after we exercise :), going for walks with Copper, etc.  Jack had his kindergarten orientation a few days ago.  I started to cry when we walked over to the school.  Josh said, "Jen it's only the orientation."  Oh gees I can only imagine how it will be on the first day of school!  Thank heavens it is only half day kindergarten.  I cherish every moment I have with these little guys, it goes by SO fast! 
Cute little chunky monkey!  You would never guess this little guy was a premie!
Joe looks a lot like Josh in this picture.
He's my snuggle bug!
Ahhh look at all those rolls!  Love it!!